"The Play of Destiny"
I am not alone, but my cries are unheard. I am the only one to understand myself.
My dreams are dim now, and the ones of passion and adventure are gone now, laid upon Time's shelf.
Am I alone? Surely not, there are humans surrounding me, smothering me with their ignorance.
With this new world, this world that is so unfamilar to me, I must take my chance.
I am not a coward, but I know when the fight is of futile cause.
I do not delude myself, but yet I know it is true when they say I have precious few flaws.
I am the daughter of a poor man, a man of unknown name, a man that history forgets,
But I am respected, and in what I have done thus far I hold no regrets.
I am a female soldier, hidden inside myself to prove my worth is beyond lines of gender.
I am the speed demon that is Untouchable, the bullet nothing could hope to hinder.
I'm quite sure that words could never describe the things I've seen,
For words aren't quite simple enough, aren't quite beautiful enough, nor as obscene.
I've never been a child, indeed, war could not allow me that simple pleasure.
I've never been able to enjoy the roses or walk or play at my own leisure.
But, I respect that what has happened to me, for the Fates do only as they must.
Perhaps I had some small part in the playing of Destiny, so I do not think anything unjust.
I have been many things: a lover, a warrior, a killer, a goddess. But I won't be named as great.
Can you understand this? I don't understand why I write this out, there's no way you could relate...
But perhaps you can. Can you? My friend, my accomplished companion, can you understand?
I drop the matter now. I don't want the answer, to ask is really too much of a demand.
I am alone, but I am not. Could that ever make sense? But I speak truth, for lying's never been my talent.
I am the only one left of my kind, the only one left with these nightmares that love to torment.
I sorrow for the ones I have lost, but I am happy, longing for the day when I may go to greet them.
My life has been a rather nice one, no one have I to condemn.
A gateway never opened
A path I never took,
A cry I never uttered
A promise never kept,
Paper never written on
A letter left unread,
A book I never opened
A poem I didn't write,
A clock that's never wound up
A door I just kept shut,
The curtains always closed tight
And my eyes screwed up.
A hole that never closed up
A wound that never healed,
A forest never passed through
A river never bridged,
Words I've never spoken
Thoughts not said aloud,
A sea not ever charted
A mountain left unclimbed,
The gulf that spread between us
A gap I never crossed,
The space your absence never fills
The way your presence could.
"Free To Be Me"
I can't stand it anymore.
I'm tired of hiding.
Please let me be free,
I need to be me.
So what if I'm different,
At least I can fly.
I'm chained to these walls;
Every room in the house
a constant reminder of torture.
I hid in the shadows,
And embraced the dark.
But no more.
I have to be free.
An invisible hand,
Steering me harshly down the aisle,
so I can receive my blasphemy
as I stare up at the crucifix
that is the indirect center of my hatred.
Being released from my chains,
would I really be free?
I'd have to endure taunting looks
and misguided people.
This would really cast me out.
But better to come out of the shadows
than to stay in them.
Thousands have died in the past,
but I can be strong today.
I will be me,
and I will stand tall.
If only she would let me be.
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